How can I stop a family member from taking advantage of, and keeping me from seeing, our elderly relative?

Unfortunately, this is an all too common scenario in many families. Sometimes this happens because one family member wants to get control of assets and wants to keep other family members and close friends away so they won’t be able to detect what’s happening. Sometimes one family member will seek to keep others away because of unhealthy dynamics in the family, such as unresolved sibling rivalries.

Whatever the reason behind the behavior, the most important question is whether the elderly individual is receiving the care he or she needs, both physical and emotional. If he or she is in possession of faculties and able to make decisions, there is no legal recourse to stop her from refusing to see you. If there is a health care directive or durable power of attorney for health care, the individual chosen to represent the elderly person’s wishes has the right to make medical decisions, unless they can be shown to be causing harm or neglect, or unless the directive was signed in a state of incompetence. Power of attorney to handle finances may also have been established. However, a power of attorney only retains the power to handle affairs on behalf of the elderly person, it doesn’t give them the right to take assets or use them for their own benefit.

You have a few options in this situation. If you suspect that your mother or father is being abused, physically or emotionally, you can call your state’s protective authorities, who can investigate the situation. If you feel that it would be better to have someone else care for the person you’re concerned about or if you think there are financial irregularities going on, you can go to court and ask for a conservatorship (also referred to as a guardianship in some jurisdictions) of person and/or of estate. A probate attorney in your area can inform you about the procedure for doing so in your state. A conservatorship of his or her person would give you the right to control the care and day-to-day activities of their lives to make sure they’re safe and cared for, and also maintain who may visit. A conservatorship of the estate would give you the power to handle assets and make sure none have been taken. This is done under the supervision of the court, usually after you post a surety bond to protect the estate.

Case Studies: Dealing With Family Members Taking Advantage of Elderly Relatives

Case Study 1: Financial Exploitation

A daughter discovered that her brother, who had power of attorney over their elderly mother’s finances, was misusing her funds for personal expenses.

The brother was siphoning money from their mother’s accounts and making unauthorized transactions. The daughter noticed discrepancies in the bank statements and immediately sought legal action.

With the help of an attorney, she was able to obtain conservatorship over her mother’s estate, putting an end to the financial exploitation and ensuring her mother’s assets were protected.

Case Study 2: Emotional Abuse and Isolation

A son noticed that his sister, who was the primary caregiver for their elderly father, was emotionally abusing him and isolating him from the rest of the family.

The son tried to visit his father but was consistently denied access. Recognizing the urgency of the situation, he contacted adult protective services and reported the suspected abuse.

An investigation was conducted, revealing the mistreatment and prompting the intervention of legal authorities. The son was granted guardianship over his father’s well-being, ensuring that he received the care and emotional support he deserved.

Case Study 3: Unresolved Sibling Rivalries

Two siblings were engaged in long-standing conflicts and rivalries within the family. Their elderly mother, who required assistance and care, became a subject of contention.

One sibling would actively prevent the other from visiting their mother and participating in her care. Recognizing the need for legal intervention, the affected sibling consulted with an attorney specializing in elder law.

Through the legal process, they were able to establish a conservatorship of both the person and estate, allowing them to ensure their mother’s well-being, manage her affairs, and maintain visitation rights for all family members.